The Connections

Cannot stop reading the "Personals" section of Craigslist. Obviously, my favorite part is the "Missed Connections." It is filled with ads posted by people who, like me, are avid peoplewatchers and like to make up little connections with their poor peoplewatching victims in their heads; however, some of these ad-posters have the additional characteristic of being total nutjobs. They genuinely believe that these strangers they saw are the possible loves of their lives.

The majority of posts pathetically end something like, "I hope you'll see this?" First of all, that is not a question. It is a statement. Your inappropriate use of a question mark is not only grammatically incorrect; it makes you look wimpy and doormat-like. Secondies, SERIOUSLY? There are eight million people living in NYC. How many of them do you think will happen to read some post with a lame subject that you made in the "Missed Connections" section of Craigslist at this particular time? Thirdly, have you ever thought that if he/she is the type of person who would see your post, possibly he/she doesn't have anything more exciting going on with his/her life than sitting around reading Craigslist postings (erm, not to be hypocritical or Woody Allenish or anything...), and therefore isn't the kind of person you'd want to be with anyway? Brutal example: 

Elevator on E 72nd - m4m (Upper East Side)

Rode the elevator yesterday morn-u had groceries wearing gym clothes-wanted to chat more- won't see this but trying!?  

Why? Whyyyyy? But thank you so much for giving me a chuckle.

Another category of poster, which is intensely annoying, is the angry/upset ex. This is not a missed connection, people. You know how to get a hold of this person, but you just want a lot of attention and are a huge pansy. Just pick up the phone and say it. The ads are either furious, like "Devin, you ruined my life," or more like:

Sabrina...Marry Me - m4w (anywhere you want me to be.)

Sabrina please marry me. I know I screwed up. Give me a chance to show you how much you mean to me. I will never hurt you again...Please call me! I love u more then I've ever thought possible....Love you always and forever...James 

Yes, however you "hurt her," this ridiculous post will totally make her not only forgive you but legally bind herself to you for all time. Totally. But then, some of the posts are straight-up hilarious:

The 2 PM Pee-Wee Herman Show - m4m (Midtown West)

We were both at the 2 PM Pee-Wee Herman show...you sat in front of me with your friend. Afterwards we walked down the street and we kept smiling at each other. I wanted to say hi. If you see this please say hi. I have a beard. 

I think his beard is the beginning of a beautiful relationship.

However, most of the posts are so simple and wistful that they seem almost poetic. It's funny to think about how many people we pass every day in this city, though we don't usually interact with them. Sometimes those tiny things -- a meeting of eyes; a smile -- can genuinely affect someone (even if that person is batshit crazy enough to post it on Craigslist):

G-train - Court sq to Greenpoint ave - m4w (Greenpoint )

You got on the train at Court Sq and were lingering near the door unsure if you were on the right train, and you came to me and told me that you were going to Greenpoint ave and asked if the train went there. I said yes. Then when you were getting off, we looked at each other and smiled. you had the most beautiful smile I've seen. I know you were just being friendly, but your smile has been haunting me all evening.

Send me a note if you see this.

If I were her, I'd write back.