The Re-Revival

Beware, friends: we're gonna get into some personal shit tonight. It's going to be corny. Enjoy.

Today at work, my coworkers were talking about the Tamagotchi craze, and I said, "Oh, I never had a Tamagotchi."

Cue gasps of horror and fainting in shock. "You NEVER had a SINGLE Tamagotchi?? You must have grown up in the slums of a third world country!! Why, StaciBeth, why?!?"

"No," I explained. "I was just a bit of a rebel."

One of my coworkers (one who likes to give me a lot of shit) said, "You were? What happened?"

Thinking about it, this actually slightly concerns me. Before I moved here, I used to have passions. Real passions, not like, "OMG I loooooooove those shoes!" I mean, my first two internships were at a performance theater and a grassroots peace organization. I agreed with the great Peter, Paul and Mary when they said, "If you've been to jail for justice, then you're a friend of mine." I was never crunchy, but I was a bit of a hippie in my ideology, and I couldn't care less what anyone thought of that.

Since moving here, it's different. I shop at the terrifyingly pretentious Whole Foods. (I should be over the whole annoying multiple-line thing at Whole Foods, but I'm not. It's dumb. I always inevitably get on the slowest line. Why not just have one long line that winds around the ropes? And why do you treat me like I'm the sad one because I don't know the difference between sprouted and unsprouted quinoa? Think about your priorities!) I think it's normal to pass Betsey Johnson on the street (and know who Betsey Johnson is. She is a scary looking person). I care even less than normal about what's going on in politics, and I haven't volunteered at any "fairs" (art, preferably, or music. Not Ren; I don't like horses). I haven't been in a situation when there was even a chance I might have to go to jail for justice the whole time I've lived in New York.

Don't get me wrong, I'm still me; maybe even with some shiny NYC bits. I'm perkier, slightly less bitchy (slightly), and probably a nicer person to be around. I eat better (thanks, pretentious Whole Foods quinoa snobs). I look damn fabulous when I want to, and I have some really great shoes.

As I am living in NYC (until I get out of this godforsaken city), and I continue to be perkier, healthier, and actually wear shoes based on my outfit, there are some parts of pre-New York me that I want to make sure I keep. As such, I have written a manifesto of my personal non-negotiables, below. These may certainly be added to or changed (after intense consideration) in the future.


My Re-Revival Manifesto -- to stay sane, stay awesome, and stay my rebel self:

-I will have no shame.*
-I will appreciate my kickass surroundings.
-I will only say what I believe -- but I'll say it damn loudly.
-I will decide what is cool (and what makes you sound like an idiot).
-I will be (almost creepily) enthusiastic, but only when I really feel it.
-I will tell you when I have no idea what the hell you're talking about.
-I will wear wife beaters and baggy jeans with glasses and lipstick if I damn well please.
-I will flaunt my passions.
-I will love freely and as much as possible, except when I am feeling particularly bitchy or cynical. Then I will hate with a flaming rage.
-I will say, "What's the worst that could happen?" and then I will jump.

Damn, that felt good.

(Caveat: all these should include, "Except when with clients. Then I will be as fake as I need to be.")