I just spent my longest period of time back in Ohio in one go since I moved to NYC. Crazy.
Ohio certainly gave me an adorable little "Thank you, come again" (in slightly offensive fake Indian accent) on my way back home though. I was pulled to the center in the security line for a pat-down. Apparently they are no longer ok when you wear hoodies through security (which is inconvenient, since I almost always fly in hoodies).
The pat-down wouldn't have been a big deal, as I've been through the scanny machine before and thought nothing of it, except I think this was my patter's first time. She was definitely more awkward and twitchy than I was. She made me face away from her, but then stopped to explain for a couple minutes, with my back to her, how she was going to touch my "sensitive chest area" (bahaha), but just with the back of her hand.
When she asked me if I wanted a private screen, as I was standing in the glass bit between the two lines, I said, "No...not unless you're planning on taking my clothes off." The poor old girl had a minor heart attack. I totally should have winked when I said it. There was a slightly creepy older dude watching, but I figured hey, if that's how people get their jollies, let them have it.
I do regret a little not asking Ms. Pattycakes, "So, are you impressed?" when she patted my "sensitive chest area."
The best part was when I talked to Mommy about it afterward. Her objection? "But you had just had Dairy Queen! Your tummy was probably all full! Well, I guess it's ok; you're average-sized in Ohio, anyway." Yes Mommy, twitchy Pattycake lady was totally judging me.
Ohio certainly gave me an adorable little "Thank you, come again" (in slightly offensive fake Indian accent) on my way back home though. I was pulled to the center in the security line for a pat-down. Apparently they are no longer ok when you wear hoodies through security (which is inconvenient, since I almost always fly in hoodies).
The pat-down wouldn't have been a big deal, as I've been through the scanny machine before and thought nothing of it, except I think this was my patter's first time. She was definitely more awkward and twitchy than I was. She made me face away from her, but then stopped to explain for a couple minutes, with my back to her, how she was going to touch my "sensitive chest area" (bahaha), but just with the back of her hand.
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| Yes, I am a chubby brown woman. With a brown baby in a stroller. But, erm, my patter wasn't actually wearing gloves. Hmm... |
I do regret a little not asking Ms. Pattycakes, "So, are you impressed?" when she patted my "sensitive chest area."
The best part was when I talked to Mommy about it afterward. Her objection? "But you had just had Dairy Queen! Your tummy was probably all full! Well, I guess it's ok; you're average-sized in Ohio, anyway." Yes Mommy, twitchy Pattycake lady was totally judging me.
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