I'm just sitting here eating a bagel, waiting for my connecting flight. I look up, and this small girl is standing about 12 inches away, staring at me. I stare back. She might be 5 or 6 years old.
"Can I sit there?" she asks.
I'm the only occupant of a row of four seats, but she wants the one I'm sitting in. I don't know exactly how her parents may react if I tell her to fuck off (I have no idea where they are but don't want to take the chance) so I grab my bag and the remainder of my bagel, and I move to the other end of the row of four.
She sits down and immediately begins talking to me. She's one of those insanely hyper children; she can't stop moving around, getting up and divebombing back into the seat headfirst or running up to the window. Every time a plane passes, she yells in her extremely loud baby voice, "There goes another one!" No shit.
She tells me about random snippets of her life. When I ask questions she ignores them. We play counting on our fingers and I-Spy, but she doesn't follow the rules. She invites me to her house to play catch; I politely decline.
After about 30 minutes her parents finally decide to show interest in the pink-haired, leather-jacketed girl their daughter has attached herself to. Her mom comes over. "Is she bothering you?"
"Yes. I hate children, and your daughter is a particularly obnoxious specimen. Take her away before I punt her across the gate and bitchslap you for being a neglectful parent."
What I actually say: "No! We're just counting!"
We've boarded now, and the little girl is sitting directly in front of me with her family. I'm ducking, hoping she won't notice my proximity. Pray for me.
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